Yes, I got fired yesterday. I know what you're thinking. "Not even a month on the job, after years of schooling and months of training, you got frigging fired?? Wow you must be a crappy nurse." Well, actually, the other nurses tell me that it happens fairly often. My preceptor got fired last week by an angry man with schizophrenia.
I didn't know this before, but as a patient in the hospital, you have every right to fire your nurse and demand a new one. Let me start from the beginning. My patient, a rather anxious, talkative fellow, had begun to complain about his meals in a loud manner. He wanted ice cream, dammit, and roast beef sandwiches! I checked his chart and his history, and reminded him that because he was a diabetic, he was also on a diabetic diet, and I couldn't bring anything other than what was on his tray. And that this was a hospital, not a restaurant, and we didn't have roast beef.
That was perhaps not the best choice of words, because then he got more worked up about it and began to insist angrily that he was not a diabetic, he had never been a diabetic, and how dare we make up false accusations about him even being a diabetic in the first place? It was all getting very conspiracy-theory, and I racked my brain trying to think of what I could say or do to extinguish the fuse before the bomb really went off. I promised him that I would talk to the doctor and see what I could do. I turned around a walked out of the room, trying hard not to take the barrage of swear words and insults too personally as I left.
So I called to the doctor on the phone (which still terrifies me) and explained the situation. My charge nurse also wanted me to tell the doctor about his behavior, so I relayed the information. The doctor had me change his diet, and said goodnight.
Two minutes later, my phone rings.
“Did you say that Mr. _________ was being rude to you?”
“Yes…”
“Let me talk to him.”
.......Shit! Now I’m a tattle-tale. My patient is going to know I was the one who ratted him out, and he’s going to be seriously pissed off. What could I do? The answer: nothing. So I accepted my fate, transfer the call, and awaited my punishment.
It was like clockwork. Two minutes later, my patient begins to call for me. Louder. Angrier. I must have turned as white as a sheet, because another nurse asked me if I was okay. I gathered my strength, told her that if I wasn’t back in 5 minutes to come looking for me, and headed towards his room. I tried to stop my hands from shaking as I handed him the ice-cream he wanted earlier, and asked him how he was doing. But I swear to you, he could sense my fear. Like a dog, or a bear, or whatever animal it is that can sense your fear and rip you to shreds. I’m not very good at confrontations.
He very expressively announced where I could shove that ice-cream, and basically told me that I was horrible human being. He used more f-bombs, and told me how insulted he was. He said I was no longer to talk to him, that I could come in the room and do what I had to do, but there would be no line of communication between us. After I left, however, he must have realize that if he wanted his pain medication he would have to break this new no-talking rule of his and ask me for it. So he then proceeded to called my preceptor into the room and informed her that not only was I ex-communicated from him, I was also exiled from the room altogether. Long story short, she became his new nurse, my patient load dropped from 3 to 2, and I ended up having a nice, easy afternoon after that.
Walking past his room for the rest of the day was scary. I half expected random objects to come hurling my way at any given moment. Considering the fact that he was HIV+ (coupled with the fact that I have a sick, twisted mind), blood-tipped needle-darts were on top of the list of flying missiles I was imagining. But the Gator game was on so he was adequately distracted, and it was actually kind of perfect because my preceptor is a huge Gator’s fan. She was even wearing her blue and orange scrubs. They were like old pals, and their beloved Gators won 31 - 20 agains ‘Bama, clinching the SEC title.
I beat myself up for this for a while, at first, because I’m really a nice girl and was nothing but sticky-sweet-as-sugar kind to him all morning. But then I got over it. And you know what? That guy can suck it. Seriously.
Bye for now! Stay happy, and healthy!
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