My eyes...

So yesterday was Sunday, and the weekends tend to be a little slower at the hospital. But first let me start by saying that the morning began a little surreal for me, since the sun was actually coming up as I walked in to work. I think it might have been the first time I've seen the building I work in 40 hours a week in the quasi-daytime, since I'm always there by 6:30 am. That makes me happy, because these short days and less sunshine make my brain chemicals all wacky, and I don't like it.


Then, since it was super slow and I discharged two of my four patients, my charge nurse decided to send me home and let other nurses take over my two (super easy) patients. So I ended up leaving at like 5 in the afternoon, with the sun out, again. I normally don't leave until around 8, 8:30, and it's pitch dark.


So I'm driving home, forgetting that it was broad daylight, trying to figure out why my eyes hurt. What was going on? Why was it so hard to see without squinting? Why was the moon so bright out tonight?


Then, of course, I remembered. Sometimes I'm dumb.

Docs

You know, doctors can make or break your day. If they treat you like crap, then you feel like crap. If they're cool and easy to talk to, then you don't. Why do the one's that are jerks feel like they have to be like that? It's really aggravating.

I'm a pretty easy going person. I'm generally friendly, and I like to be nice to people. But god, sometimes these doctors... just make me want to freak out. Yeah, sorry I got the room number wrong, did you really have to call me back just to point that out? Oh, sorry I guess you did, since you're gods gift and all.


pffffft, whatever.

Man, nurses are cool

I am one of those girls that have mostly guys as friends. I don't know why. I just sometimes have a hard time getting along with girls. But, man, the girls who I work with are some of the most awesome, well-rounded people I've ever met.

They have all accepted me and have been super nice, and they are so much fun. They are very professional, but still have a wicked funny sense of humor when we're safe and alone in the med room. Thank god for these girls. I don't think I would have made it so far without them. They've taught me to find the humor in the most stressful situations, and that there is always someone to go to when you need help.

Nurses rock.

OCD

I find myself doing this weird thing lately. Ever since I successfully started my first IV, I noticed myself checking out people's veins a lot. Like, if I'm standing behind someone in the grocery store, or the gas station, or whatever. And I get all excited when I see someone with nice, plump veins, I get all excited and I think "man, I could start an IV on that guy so easy!" Then I feel weird about it, like I've violated that person in some way.


I check out my own veins, too. Nate catches me all the time feeling around on my arms, trying to find hidden ones, and probably wonders what the heck is wrong with me. Sometimes I wonder why he still likes me so much. I'm kind of a freak of nature sometimes.

My favorite part of today.

I worked harder today than I ever have before. It was fine. That's what nurses do. We work hard, we get stuff done, and we go about our lives. But you know what I loved about today?

My last patient. I was so far behind that I was only finishing up charting on him and changing his dressing at around 8pm, an hour after I was supposed to be done already. And you know what he asked me to do? I laughed for a good ten seconds about this.

He asked me to take a picture of his gross, gaping incision with his iPhone. Nice.

I cried in the bathroom.

God, it's so pathetic. But I did. I got overwhelmed and decided to go have myself a little cry. It helped.


Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow will be better.

Right?

Tomorrow

Is my first day alone. All. By. Myself.

I'm totally freaking out.