R.N. Confessions

My eyes...

2009-03-02T19:50:00.004-05:00

So yesterday was Sunday, and the weekends tend to be a little slower at the hospital. But first let me start by saying that the morning began a little surreal for me, since the sun was actually coming up as I walked in to work. I think it might have been the first time I've seen the building I work in 40 hours a week in the quasi-daytime, since I'm always there by 6:30 am. That makes me happy, because these short days and less sunshine make my brain chemicals all wacky, and I don't like it.

Then, since it was super slow and I discharged two of my four patients, my charge nurse decided to send me home and let other nurses take over my two (super easy) patients. So I ended up leaving at like 5 in the afternoon, with the sun out, again. I normally don't leave until around 8, 8:30, and it's pitch dark.

So I'm driving home, forgetting that it was broad daylight, trying to figure out why my eyes hurt. What was going on? Why was it so hard to see without squinting? Why was the moon so bright out tonight?

Then, of course, I remembered. Sometimes I'm dumb.

Docs

2009-02-27T23:06:00.003-05:00

You know, doctors can make or break your day. If they treat you like crap, then you feel like crap. If they're cool and easy to talk to, then you don't. Why do the one's that are jerks feel like they have to be like that? It's really aggravating.

I'm a pretty easy going person. I'm generally friendly, and I like to be nice to people. But god, sometimes these doctors... just make me want to freak out. Yeah, sorry I got the room number wrong, did you really have to call me back just to point that out? Oh, sorry I guess you did, since you're gods gift and all.

pffffft, whatever.

Man, nurses are cool

2009-02-27T00:03:00.003-05:00

I am one of those girls that have mostly guys as friends. I don't know why. I just sometimes have a hard time getting along with girls. But, man, the girls who I work with are some of the most awesome, well-rounded people I've ever met.

They have all accepted me and have been super nice, and they are so much fun. They are very professional, but still have a wicked funny sense of humor when we're safe and alone in the med room. Thank god for these girls. I don't think I would have made it so far without them. They've taught me to find the humor in the most stressful situations, and that there is always someone to go to when you need help.

Nurses rock.

OCD

2009-02-19T23:18:00.002-05:00

I find myself doing this weird thing lately. Ever since I successfully started my first IV, I noticed myself checking out people's veins a lot. Like, if I'm standing behind someone in the grocery store, or the gas station, or whatever. And I get all excited when I see someone with nice, plump veins, I get all excited and I think "man, I could start an IV on that guy so easy!" Then I feel weird about it, like I've violated that person in some way.

I check out my own veins, too. Nate catches me all the time feeling around on my arms, trying to find hidden ones, and probably wonders what the heck is wrong with me. Sometimes I wonder why he still likes me so much. I'm kind of a freak of nature sometimes.

My favorite part of today.

2009-02-10T22:48:00.002-05:00

I worked harder today than I ever have before. It was fine. That's what nurses do. We work hard, we get stuff done, and we go about our lives. But you know what I loved about today?

My last patient. I was so far behind that I was only finishing up charting on him and changing his dressing at around 8pm, an hour after I was supposed to be done already. And you know what he asked me to do? I laughed for a good ten seconds about this.

He asked me to take a picture of his gross, gaping incision with his iPhone. Nice.

I cried in the bathroom.

2009-02-09T21:07:00.002-05:00

God, it's so pathetic. But I did. I got overwhelmed and decided to go have myself a little cry. It helped.

Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow will be better.
Tomorrow will be better.

Right?

Tomorrow

2009-02-08T18:20:00.001-05:00

Is my first day alone. All. By. Myself.

I'm totally freaking out.

Lucky me!

2009-02-07T22:31:00.005-05:00

I know I complain a lot here, about my job is hard, my day sucked, blah blah. But I read an article today that made me hang my head in shame.

http://www.money.co.uk/article/1002758-598000-jobs-cut-by-us-employers-in-january.htm

"598,000 Jobs Cut By US Employers in January"

Yeah, I might be frustrated or whatever... but I have an awesome, secure, good paying job that I worked really hard for, and will most likely not lose any time soon. America needs nurses like crazy. I truly am thankful for this, no matter how much whining I do here on my blog.

Stay happy, and healthy!

Noooo.......

2009-01-31T20:23:00.008-05:00

I still have a week left until I'm on my own on the unit. For now, I do almost everything on my own, and my preceptor Nadia silently watches me from the outside and answers any and every question I have. And she yells at me when she sees me do something wrong. No really, she's so awesome and I couldn't have asked for a better preceptor. (Love ya, Nads!)

So today I come to work, like I do every day, and the first thing I do is check the patient assignment board to find her name, and what patient assignment we have for the day. There she is!

Nadia
Nadia
Nadia
Nadia

And then, right underneath...

Kristine
Kristine
Kristine
Kristine...

Um... excuse me? I didn't' realize that you were stripping me from my safety zone quite yet. I'm not ready for this. I started to panic. I had to get organized! What do you do, Kristine? Stay calm. Think. Okay, first things first, go get your information from the charts and get ready to receive report.

So I walk down the hall to my patients rooms. I walk pretty far. Holy crap, I'm all the way in the back of the unit where no one can see me and I'm no where near anyone else. Why did they put me all alone back here on my first day alone?? I swear I just saw a tumbleweed blow by.

Okay, find the charts. First one. Second day post-op, no problem. Second chart... was a big one. Big, stuffed charts like that mean super complicated, long term patient with lots going on. Why, oh, why would they give me a patient like this? I'm convinced my charge nurse hates me. And she seemed so nice. What a bitch.

I manage to free it from it's little cubby hole. What's that little sign on the front? A closer look....
_____
Chart
1
of
2
_____

I think my heart just stopped beating for a second. I started to tremble. The tears were getting harder and harder to hold back. I seriously start to think I might have a nervous breakdown.

Here comes Nadia! I see her down the hallway. I must have looked absolutely terrified, because instead of her usual chipper greeting, she takes one look at me and says "What's wrong?"

"I'm on my own today! And look at this chart!" The tears were starting to spill.

"What? No, you're not. I'm going to talk to the charge nurse."

So I remain where I am, clumsily flipping through the chart, trying to find out what the hell is wrong with this stupid patient that I don't want to take care of. Nadia comes back.

"Kristine..." and then she bursts into laughter. What was her problem? I actually wanted to hit her. This wasn't funny. I was trembling with terror, and she was laughing in my face?

"Kristine..." then another bout of laughter. She actually doubled over. I was going go freak out.

"Kristine... there's another nurse on the unit today, who floated from another floor. Her name is Kristine, too, you ding-dong."

All right, you little hooker...

2009-01-27T20:31:00.004-05:00

This chick made my life a living hell today. She was the biggest nightmare I've ever dealt with in my life, pre- and post- nursing career. I took report from the night nurse, and she warned me, but I'm pretty good at sweet-talking people out of bad moods and persuading them to like me. Not this bitch.

She was in pain. I could see that, and I can sympathize. I can also give her medicine for pain. What I can't do, however, is give her the specific pain medicine that she wanted. Lady, that stuff is reserved for patients who just had major surgery, whose bodies we've literally filleted open with a scalpel and then stapled back together again. All right, you little hooker? We're not going to give you Demerol for that little boo-boo in your side. No matter how much you cry and complain and demand it.

I'm sorry, when you come into the hospital because you're hurt, and then demand certain drugs and refuse others that will help you, you need to go home. Especially if you're refusing the medicines that the doc's ordered that will prevent you from becoming septic and dying. If you're not going to let us treat you, give someone else this bed that will. We're not a Walgreens drive-through pharmacy. I can only give you what the doc's have ordered. And when I try to give you advice on different things you can do to make herself feel better (like trying to relax, watch a little TV, or whatever), and you tell me "Thanks for the fucking lecture," yeah, you're immediately not my favorite person in the whole world.

Oh yeah, and thanks a lot for calling patient advocacy on me because I was sooooo rude to you. Sitting in front of a case worker with my nursing license on the line was FUN. And thanks for filing a complaint to my nurse manager. You know what came from that? She told me I was one of the nicest nurses she knew, AND I GOT A RAISE. No, I didn't really, but she totally didn't believe you that I was nasty to you all day.

Oh yeah, and my favorite part of the day was when you told me, oh, so eloquently, "Do your fucking job and get that fucking doctor in here to write me a prescription for Demerol so I can get out of this piece of shit hospital." That was classy. Extra points for your mother being in the room at the time.

Inauguration Day...

2009-01-20T13:05:00.000-05:00

... and of course, I'm stuck at work all day. Still, you could feel it in the air in the hospital. Today was a special, historic day, no matter who or where you were, republican or democrat, American or not. Today matters.

Every room on the unit had the inauguration on TV. You could hear Obama's charming, stutter-filled oath out in the hallways. I'm only 26, so I'm happy that I had the opportunity to be alive during this moment in history.

A bunch of us gathered in a patients room to watch the swear-in. That's me, on your right. The short one.

Is this some kind of a cruel joke?

2009-01-17T11:49:00.000-05:00

So, I got a call from my mother the other day. She went for her yearly mammogram, which was abnormal, so she had to go for more tests. So, being the pessimist that I am, I automatically assumed cancer and cried myself to sleep that night.

So I go to work the next day, and who am I assigned to take care of? A sweet little old lady with end stage breast cancer. You can't make this stuff up.

I spent a lot of time with her. She told me all about her youth, and her husband of 54 years, and how she used to wear a size 34-C bra when she still had her body intact. She was so brave and I felt like such a baby because I couldn't stop crying, between her being so sweet and my mom's pending diagnosis.

Then, my sweet little old ladies' sweet little old husband showed up, and they were so freaking cute together! They were like teenagers in love, holding hands and making googly eyes at each other. Why do these bad things have to happen to such good people? I could never go in to oncology.

Close to the end of my shift, their son showed up. I went in there to talk to them (you don't just take care of patients, you take care of the whole family), and it was too much. I actually had to leave the room because I started sobbing quietly and making pathetic noises. And what do you know? Their son was a total sweetheart, too! This was the nicest family ever. I apologized for crying, explaining that I was supposed to be taking care of them, not the other way around, and he just told me that it was okay, nurses are people, too. We talked about different options for his mom, different facilities she could be accepted into, if she should go home, respite care for him, etc. What a great bunch of people. I'm happy to have met them.

My mother went for more tests, and the doc's said that the abnormality was nothing to worry about, and to come back next year. What a relief. I love my mom.

Never trust a nurse.

2009-01-16T00:58:00.002-05:00

So it was the end of the day and I was looking forward to going home. It's hard not to watch the clock during those last few hours. So there I am, charting away, trying not to ask my preceptor too much advice (since I'll be on my own in less than two weeks), when a coworker approached me with a plastic bucket full of screws and pins.

"Hey, Kristine, you ever wonder what they put inside the spines of patients who get back surgery with instrumentation before?" Well, duh, of course I have. I'm just too shy to ask and sound like a dork. So I get all excited, like a little girl, and what's the first thing I do?

Reach my hand into that bucket and pick up one of the screws, to examine it closer. It was soooo big, and I was mesmerized by how that could fit into someone's spine and make it feel better. That just looks like it would hurt.

Word of advice: When someone brings you a bucket of something, and they have rubber gloves on, don't mistake it for show-and-tell. Because her next words were:

"You know, they just removed these from my patient's back."

OH MY F***ING GOD.

Yeah, I spent the next twenty minutes freaking out and washing my hands with every antiseptic thing I could find. And the other nurses have found something to incessantly tease me about.

God, I hope that guy didn't have any weird diseases.

shudder

How to make my day less than awesome.

2009-01-09T20:41:00.007-05:00

I never knew how many ways that other people can make my day miserable. We've all had days where someone was a jerk to us, or someone said something that was less than awesome, or someone makes you feel bad. But try to imagine a day where every single interaction that wasn't with a fellow nurse was like that. Aannnnddddd you'll have the day I had today.

I had a patient who was an intolerable asshole. He was demanding and miserable and insufferable. He was mad because the night nurse's had Asian accents, and because his IV pump kept beeping, and because his room was next to the train tracks and he could have sworn we were having an earthquake. In Florida. You can't make this stuff up, my friends. And he was just cunning enough to make me afraid of him to the point where I wanted him to like me more than anything, just so I could go home without the fear that he would sue me because he couldn't have a bowel movement. Because, somehow, that was my fault as well. I mean, I offered the guy a suppository, but the freak of nature didn't want it unless he could insert it himself. Sorry, dude, as much as I would love if all of my patients wanted to insert things up their own anuses, instead of having to do it myself, that's a nursing skill that I simply cannot delegate to you. You could perforate your colon, or something. Weirdo.

Then the damn pharmacy did everything in their power to make my day awful. They wouldn't clarify my orders in the computer, they failed to put a patient on a potassium protocol, and they took it upon themselves to discontinue my patient (who was ONE DAY POST OP SPINAL SURGERY, mind you) off their Dilaudid PCA, because they felt that he was getting too much pain medication. I'm sorry that you felt that way, pharmacy, but maybe you should feel what it's like to get your vertebrae pulverized by a neurosurgeon before you make that decision yourselves. I don't see the letters MD on your nametag.

Oh, and speaking of MD's, they never cease to mess up my day somehow. First, they come in like ghosts, talking to my patients and writing new orders without letting me know. Then I end up not seeing a new order for hours, making me look (and feel) like a complete idiot because they were supposed to be discharged at 2:30 and I didn't see the order until 6:00. (I know I need to check my charts more often, but they can at least let me know.) And, they don't call me back when I need an order for Phenergan because my patient is puking her guts out all over the place. Plus, they don't show up when they've been consulted (I'm talking to you, urology) and get my semi-psycho patient even more riled up. It's enough to make a girl want to stab you in the eye with her hemostat.

But you know what? I didn't cry today, and I still don't hate my job. I love my fellow nurses, who share my pain and can still make me smile when things hit the fan. Also, I can always find comfort in knowing that I didn't make anyone's life worse today, that I somehow made it better. Because that's what nurses do. We all share a certain, humbling humility in the work we do. There is nothing whatsoever glamorous about this profession, but I like to think what we are all doing it for similar reasons. To help mend wounds, families, and hearts.

Bye, for now! Stay happy, and healthy!

Resolutions

2009-01-02T21:19:00.003-05:00

The holidays are finally over. Phew! Things at the hospital are a little slower, since people don't choose to get surgery during this time of year (still, some of them have to).

One thing that I have brought to my own attention is how negative I have been about my new career lately. And I know that's not what you came to read about. So, my new years' resolution for this year is to LOVE MY JOB!!! I'm going to love the heck out of it! I'm going to love it so much that it's going to get emotionally insecure and break up with me!

So who cares if my patient was faking seizures all day today to get Ativan? I love it! Who cares that my other patient so badly wanted to be discharged so she could see her daughter get baptized tomorrow, but that wasn't going to happen? Hey, it's the name of the game. At least you're alive, and will be healthy soon, lady!

This is quite possibly the one new years resolution that has been this important to me, ever. I wish you all the best in 2009.

Bye, for now! Stay happy, and healthy!

New plan.

2008-12-26T19:07:00.003-05:00

We visited my fiance's family for Christmas yesterday. His mom and her husband are both R.N.'s, and of course we talked about my new career a lot. I especially talked to his mom, just venting my frustrations and concerns with my time management skills. She gave me a couple of great tips on how to better manage my time, especially in the morning when assessments and medication delivery are of the essence. I'm going to try her suggestions tomorrow! Thanks, Maureen!

Bye, for now! Stay happy, and healthy!

Decisions, decisions.

2008-12-24T12:36:00.002-05:00

After I graduated and passed my NCLEX, I had a choice to make.

I initially wanted to work on a mother/baby unit, being that it was my favorite part of nursing school and I did my final practicum on a postpartum floor. The atmosphere is so much different than on a regular medical/surgical unit. Women having babies are generally happier, more receptive to your teaching, and have less germs and viruses than most patients in the hospital. And the babies are so freaking cute and fun to play with, and what do you do when they start to scream and cry? Give them back to mom!

So, I worked hard to get offered a job at a prestigious hospital for women and babies. I talked to one of my instructors, got the names of some nurse hiring managers there, made an awesome resume, and handed it in, in person, all dolled up in my pretty blouse and high heels. I name-dropped during both of the interviews I got, and was hired immediately on a mother/baby postpartum unit. My dream was coming true. The only drawback: the only shift available was for a night shift nurse. Ugh.

During all of this, I applied for some other jobs for backup. Inluding a Critical Care Nursing Internship Program. I chose neurology because I don’t like cardiac, and I was a psychology major for a couple of years when I first started college. I chose neuro/surgical because I didn’t want to deal with lifelong neurological deficits, and tracheostomies, and things like that. I was actually surprised that I got offered the job there, as well. And it was days. Now I had a tough decision to make.

Do I take my dream job, that I’ve wanted ever since I was in my third semester of nursing school, and risk having to turn into a nocturnal being who might hardly ever see her friends and family again? Or do I take this other, rather challenging job and jump into the deep end of nursing, doing critical care? On one hand, the night shift earned at least $8/hour more than a day shift nurse. On the other hand, if I have critical care experience, it will be easier for me to find a job later on when I want to start traveling.

So me, being the overachiever that I am, decided to go with the more challenging, lesser paying of the two. And now, I’m wondering whether or not I made the right decision. I’m constantly stressed out, I’ve been grinding my teeth so hard my gums bleed and I get migraines, and I’m doubting myself all the time. Lately, every time I work it makes me want to jump off of a tall building. I cry a lot after work, just from the sheer anxiety levels and the sadness I feel from these people I take care of who are more sick and helpless than I’ve ever seen before. Learning not to let my emotions get the best of me is going to be a lifelong lesson, I think.

Anyhow, sorry for the melodramatic post. If you’re thinking of becoming a nurse, or have already started pursuing this career, don’t let this get you down. Every new job has its’ ups and downs, and I’m sure I’ll get over this initial terror and anxiety I feel. Yesterday was a better day for me, and tomorrow will be as well. I’m just not used to not being perfect at something the first time I try it, and it can be frustrating.

Bye, for now! Stay happy, and healthy!

Happy Christmas Eve!

Language barriers.

2008-12-21T16:10:00.004-05:00

I have a big problem with nurses mistreating people because they don't speak the same language. Just because someone doesn't speak english doesn't mean that they're dumb, confused, or mentally unstable.

I noticed the other day that a man, sitting on his bedside recliner, had been wheeled out into the hallway and restrained via a belt that tied him to the chair. I queried as to why, and was told that he was confused, unsteady on his feet, and kept trying to get up. They were preventing him from a fall, which could possibly lead to his being injured.

Throughout the night, the poor man began to get angry and tried repeatedly to free himself from the restraint. He would unbutton his shirt and trying to wriggle out of it, without much success. No one seemed to notice, or care, so I would go over to him and tell him in my best spanish that everything was okay, whilst redressing him and holding his hand. He would tell me that everything was not okay, that everything was bad, and that he wanted out of the chair. I'm not much of a spanish speaker, but I could tell, based the few words that I could understand, that this man knew exactly what was going on, and didn't like the way he was being treated. He wasn't confused. He wasn't mentally ill. He knew who and where he was, and he knew that he didn't want to be tied to that chair anymore.

There wasn't much I could do. His nurse wouldn't let me undo the restraint, and I didn't want to push the matter too far. I'm still the new girl, and I don't want to start making enemies now. But I did what I could. I moved my chair right next to him, sang the only song I know in spanish over and over to him (Des Colores), and finished my charting for the night. I probably sang to him for an hour, and he would alter between periods of singing along and dozing off. It was really a sweet sight, to see him so calm and peaceful after all of the combatitive energy he had before. I also got several puzzled looks from my coworkers.

Screw them, I don't care.

Bye, for now! Stay happy, and healthy!

Random letters to random people.

2008-12-16T23:08:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I work on a critical care unit, and sometimes I wonder if I should have chosen a job at an easier level and worked my way up to this. I feel like I’m trying to run a marathon just after I’ve just learned to walk. Usually, I like to challenge myself, and can do almost anything I put my mind to. But this is by far the hardest things I’ve ever done, and the fact that I’m not naturally a pro at it is especially frustrating, for a perfectionist like myself.

Here are some random letters to random people that helped shape my day:

Dear Lady: I’m sorry I gave you too much pain medicine and dropped your blood pressure down to the 80/30 region. But when I got there that morning, you were having an absolute fit because the nurses at night failed to manage your pain, and I was just trying to help. I’m glad you’re ok now, but you gave me a hell of a scare.

Dear Patient’s Daughter: Hovering over your mom all day long isn’t going to get her better any faster. I know she’s in pain, she had spinal surgery for crying out loud, but she has got to get up out of that bed. Do you want her to end up with bed sores and pneumonia?

Dear Laboratory: Please send medications when we call for them. We are trying to prevent people from having brain spasms and seizures on this floor, and that’s hard to do when our medications arrive 4 hours late. It’s not that difficult. Hang up the phone, put the medication in the tube, and send it. Piece of cake!

Dear Oncoming Night Nurse: Please don’t treat me like I’m a lazy, stupid, careless nurse because I didn’t hang that potassium. I busted my ass all day, I’m new, and you have plenty of time to hang it while all of your patients are asleep.

Dear Other New Nurse: You had a rough day, I could tell. Next time, please ask someone for help so you can eat lunch.

Dear Preceptor: Thank you for talking to me at the end of my shift. I was overwhelmed and on the verge of tears, but you told me that I did a good job, and I really needed that.

Bye for now. Stay happy, and healthy!

I have been fired.

2008-12-14T10:43:00.003-05:00

Yes, I got fired yesterday. I know what you're thinking. "Not even a month on the job, after years of schooling and months of training, you got frigging fired?? Wow you must be a crappy nurse." Well, actually, the other nurses tell me that it happens fairly often. My preceptor got fired last week by an angry man with schizophrenia.

I didn't know this before, but as a patient in the hospital, you have every right to fire your nurse and demand a new one. Let me start from the beginning. My patient, a rather anxious, talkative fellow, had begun to complain about his meals in a loud manner. He wanted ice cream, dammit, and roast beef sandwiches! I checked his chart and his history, and reminded him that because he was a diabetic, he was also on a diabetic diet, and I couldn't bring anything other than what was on his tray. And that this was a hospital, not a restaurant, and we didn't have roast beef.

That was perhaps not the best choice of words, because then he got more worked up about it and began to insist angrily that he was not a diabetic, he had never been a diabetic, and how dare we make up false accusations about him even being a diabetic in the first place? It was all getting very conspiracy-theory, and I racked my brain trying to think of what I could say or do to extinguish the fuse before the bomb really went off. I promised him that I would talk to the doctor and see what I could do. I turned around a walked out of the room, trying hard not to take the barrage of swear words and insults too personally as I left.

So I called to the doctor on the phone (which still terrifies me) and explained the situation. My charge nurse also wanted me to tell the doctor about his behavior, so I relayed the information. The doctor had me change his diet, and said goodnight.

Two minutes later, my phone rings.

“Did you say that Mr. _________ was being rude to you?”

“Yes…”

“Let me talk to him.”

.......

Shit! Now I’m a tattle-tale. My patient is going to know I was the one who ratted him out, and he’s going to be seriously pissed off. What could I do? The answer: nothing. So I accepted my fate, transfer the call, and awaited my punishment.

It was like clockwork. Two minutes later, my patient begins to call for me. Louder. Angrier. I must have turned as white as a sheet, because another nurse asked me if I was okay. I gathered my strength, told her that if I wasn’t back in 5 minutes to come looking for me, and headed towards his room. I tried to stop my hands from shaking as I handed him the ice-cream he wanted earlier, and asked him how he was doing. But I swear to you, he could sense my fear. Like a dog, or a bear, or whatever animal it is that can sense your fear and rip you to shreds. I’m not very good at confrontations.

He very expressively announced where I could shove that ice-cream, and basically told me that I was horrible human being. He used more f-bombs, and told me how insulted he was. He said I was no longer to talk to him, that I could come in the room and do what I had to do, but there would be no line of communication between us. After I left, however, he must have realize that if he wanted his pain medication he would have to break this new no-talking rule of his and ask me for it. So he then proceeded to called my preceptor into the room and informed her that not only was I ex-communicated from him, I was also exiled from the room altogether. Long story short, she became his new nurse, my patient load dropped from 3 to 2, and I ended up having a nice, easy afternoon after that.

Walking past his room for the rest of the day was scary. I half expected random objects to come hurling my way at any given moment. Considering the fact that he was HIV+ (coupled with the fact that I have a sick, twisted mind), blood-tipped needle-darts were on top of the list of flying missiles I was imagining. But the Gator game was on so he was adequately distracted, and it was actually kind of perfect because my preceptor is a huge Gator’s fan. She was even wearing her blue and orange scrubs. They were like old pals, and their beloved Gators won 31 - 20 agains ‘Bama, clinching the SEC title.

I beat myself up for this for a while, at first, because I’m really a nice girl and was nothing but sticky-sweet-as-sugar kind to him all morning. But then I got over it. And you know what? That guy can suck it. Seriously.

Bye for now! Stay happy, and healthy!

UPDATE: Tebow didn't get the Heisman trophy??? Really?? What a bummer!

Christmastime, already?

2008-12-11T21:12:00.000-05:00

We just put up our Christmas tree today! I can’t believe it’s that time of year already. I worked on Thanksgiving, so it was almost like it didn’t really happen this year. And now, it’s like, bam! Christmas!

I thought that since, you know, I’m a nurse, I’d at least be a millionaire by now. ‘Cause nurses get paid, amiright? Unfortunately, I’m barely making more money than I did while I was bar tending. I’m still in my preceptorship, which means I’m still training and I don’t get any extra money for overtime or differentials for evening hours yet. I thought that this would be the year I could buy bad-ass gifts for my family and friends, because I’d be a millionaire, remember? I didn’t, however, take into consideration the massive credit card debt I accrued, or the student loan debt I have yet to start paying off. But I’m not going to try not to sweat it. At least I have friends and family that I can worry about severely disappointing, right?

I can remember what I was doing at almost this exact moment last year. I was trying to con my nursing instructor to let me take my final exam early. I made up an elaborate lie about how my family was going on a vacation to South America, and really wanted me to come with them and share the experience. But in reality, I just wanted to go on this Mexican cruise with a friend of mine. She ended up buying it, and I got to go on my cruise. Mexico in December is amazing!

Bye for now! Stay happy, and healthy!

Hot Pink Pants

2008-12-10T19:50:00.000-05:00

Ever want to dress like you’re an 80’s rock star? Without getting funny looks and dumbfounded stares? Become a nurse! Yes, that’s right, you can wear any color pants you want, without fear. Neon green, bright blue, shiny purple, whatever suits your fancy. And no one will think anything of it. Seriously!

The first set of scrubs I bought for my new job consisted of a printed top, and… hot pink pants. I never, in a million years, thought I would be rocking hot pink pants, and it not being a dare, or Halloween or something. I mean, I’m a fairly conservative girl when it comes to how I dress. Jeans are a huge part my wardrobe. So when I was walking through the hall of the hospital where I work, and caught a glimpse of myself strutting along in my hot-pink scrub pants, it really threw me off.

Here’s a summary of what went through my head that morning:

“Who is that chick pimping hot pink pants? What in the hell is she thinking? Pfft, she probably works at the circus or something.”

“OH. MY. GOD.”

Well, I got over it pretty quickly. I no longer look down occasionally and cringe in horror. It’s actually kind of liberating, learning how to deal with bright, blinding colors after so many years of denim (and the occasional corduroys). I figure, if I can look halfway decent in hot pink pants, I can probably strut my stuff in anything and get away with it. I mean, there are tons of female role models rock stars that have worn hot pink pants before, right? Madonna? Cyndi Lauper? Cher? Now I can pretend I’m a rock star, too! You’ll never know what’s going on inside your nurse’s head while she’s removing those staples from your scalp. For all you know, she’s basking in the glow of the spotlight, up on stage, singing “Love Shack” in front of thousands of screaming fans at Woodstock. Or maybe that’s just me…

Bye for now! Stay happy and healthy!

So one day, I decided to start my own blog...

2008-12-09T11:46:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know. “You and everyone else! You really expect me to keep up with another freaking blog?” Well, to put it bluntly, no. I really don’t expect anyone, anwhere to ever read this. And I don’t blame them. As a matter of fact, I’m going to write this blog with the intention that no one will ever read it. Yes, I think that will help keep me honest. And lower my inhibitions. Like drinking.

So, anyway, a little background about me. I am a registered nurse. I am uniquely inexperienced. I finished nursing school a few months ago. Hooray! Best day of my life, next to passing the NCLEX!

Before I started nursing school, I floundered through 6 years of college, majoring in psychology for a little while, dropping out, taking classes, dropping out. You know the routine. But finally I decided that I had to buckle down, and 2 years later, here I am. Also, before I started nursing school, I had never, ever set foot in a hospital. Except for that time that my mom gave birth to me, that is. I had no idea what a nurse did, except that they “helped take care of people.” And that’s what I wanted to do. I wanted to help people and take care of them.

I thought that being a nurse, you know, I’d be brushing peoples’ hair and bringing them chicken noodle soup, sappy stuff like that. You know, being nice to people. Helping them. Taking care of them. Let me tell you, right here, right now: THAT’S NOT WHAT THEY DO. They do some of the most horrifying, painful, and embarrassing things to people that you can imagine. Well, that might be an exaggeration, but it’s not totally off the mark. Being a nurse is one of the most unglamorous, unappreciated, and downright disgusting professions in the world. I mean, it pays well, there’s lots of perks, and people respect a nurse. But it will humble you.

I talk about poop. A lot. Us nurses literally sit around, talking about poop, for hours on end. Pooping is critical to a persons hospital stay. It’s important. On my unit, you almost have to poop before you go home. Not pooping will keep you in the hospital longer than you need to be. Have you ever encouraged a full-grown adult to try and poop before? Until a month ago, neither had I. Now I do it several times a week. No, I’m being nice. I don’t just encourage them. I threaten them with suppositories and enemas if they don’t poop. If you think about it, it seems ironic that the way to get something to come out of a person’s butt is to shove something in to a person’s butt.

Really, I am very concerned about any sort of fluid that comes out of your body. Took a piss? I need to see and measure that. Did you just blow chunks? Yep, I gotta see what it looks like. Is your incision draining pus and blood? You guessed it… lemme see. Like I said, not exactly glamorous.

Well, I think I’ve just made sure that, if anyone did stop by and read this, I’ve successfully sent them screaming and running away. Sorry about that. But this blog is for me to vent about my life, and especially being a nurse. I have to act happy and upbeat all day, and pretend that what I’m doing isn’t horrifying and bizarre. But it is! Not to say it isn’t rewarding to see someone go from not being able to move from the neck down, to walking out of the hospital on their own two feet. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing you had a part in that. But… it’s gross, too.

Bye, for now! Stay happy, and healthy!